dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
