Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
