Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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