Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My underwear smells like fireworks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
