plz talk dirty to me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Green mimosas i think yes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
