I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
