i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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