i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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