Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize