the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
