I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
