glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
