Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
