the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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