We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
