Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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