Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize