I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
