my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't deserve a penis
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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