I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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