I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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