We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
