so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
