Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
