Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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