I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
50% drunk capacity currently
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
