apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
