so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
