I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
