But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize