I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
