At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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