Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize