Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
