absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize