Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
