My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
