all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize