How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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