guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
