The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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