i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Mom said you looked used
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
