Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
