You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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