toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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