I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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