Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
