Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
