sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
