We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize