I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
