What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
