some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
