But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
