now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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