You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize