SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
