I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
