Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
