I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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