I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
