Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
