i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
