U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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