He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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